Last night was a special night out on the town to celebrate the birth. It was a blast! I danced, I kissed, I had the time of my life! I do have to say, I love being single and even though I am afraid of living life alone and never having a family, I really love this life I live right now. I had a lot of fun with the people that decided to go out and I am past being upset over people who didn't celebrate with me. I had fun regardless and am glad the people who came did. Let me say that the only dissapointment I experienced today on this day of birth is the lack of 1 person texting me or calling me to wish me such a fantastic day. It sucks and its sort of pathetic that I am sad over this person considering the ridiculous circumstances we have together but it is sad and it does make me slightly upset. Upset enough to lose sleep over, absolutely not but I was sort of hoping I was a little more special than that. Regardless, I guess I didn't expect him to but was hoping by some little glimmer of hope that he would. Haven't heard from him since Thursday, so wow yeah a whole 3 days of no communication. How can you tell someone you know that you have an interest in someone but then not talk to them for 3 consecutive days? Well..I can think of a few reasons LMAO
So back to last night. I took a shit load of pictures and I can't help but hate the way my body looks right now. The shirt I was wearing bunched up at the stomach and so in some pics my stomach looks seriously awful and I hate it. Basically, it wasn't very flattering in comparison to my over the knee boots and short skirt. I am hoping that in less than a month I can look 10x better than that for New Years!!!! I am about 140 right now I want to be 135 and shed some body fat and get a hot dress and look better! I just need to work on my diet and it has been getting better, I am eating better, and hopefully by summer I will look bomb.
I think it's time for a little reflection, and make some goals for my next birthday. I think that considering I am single I need to focus on me and do things that make me happy no one else. I need to put a good effort into school and make that a priority. I need to make sure I am always happy, I hate being stressed, I hate the way I feel when I am stressed. I also need to work on my binge eating disorder, self diagnosed and keep folowing the steps of the program to recover completely! I also think I am much les stressed when I feel confident. When I am feelin sexy and confident I stress a lot less. So I deifnitely want to make sure I work hard on looking good and keeping myself like that instead of constantly yo-yoing back and forth between doing bad and doing good. Plan is to inforce the moderation techniques that most normal humans incorporate into their lives, but the binge part of me makes this hard because I am either all or none with things, it's always the extremes, so a goal would definitely be to stop doing that! I also want to make sure that I am just letting life happen how it's supposed to and taking the paths life has carved out for me. Instead of trying to MAKE things happen I just need to take life day by day.
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